15 January, 2011
Reflections of 2010
Another year gone and what's up with that? I swear the old folks (I resemble that) meant what they said when they kept telling us that time speeds up as we age. I feel like I am in a time warp these days with time passing so fast years seem like months and months like days.
So what do I remember from 2010? Probably nothing that will ever make a difference and most everything through the filter of the rose-colored lenses of the past. Oh, sure, it was a momentous year for the economy and politics; gas prices sky-rocketed and electric cars became big news; people died and babies were born; but my life continued regardless of the circumstances. I guess what I'm trying to say is, life is what we make it and, at least this past year, I was able to make it good. No, I don't have a big savings account, not able to even think about retirement, though I would be eligible in September, and haven't reached the pinnacle of my career with the USPS (I hope), but I have a great office with excellent employees who appreciate my leadership (they might be lying, I don't want to know), have been able to pay my ever increasing bills, live in a decent home on some beautiful land, and have a happy, prosperous family around me. What more could a man ask for?
Is there a point to this article? Not really, but maybe, just to get folks to think about the good going on in their lives instead of focusing on all the troubling little things going on in our business. Yes, there will be office closings, jobs cut, and many of us will have difficult decisions to make, but isn't that always the case anyway? How about we all try to live this year like it will be our last? Enjoy the moment, live large, and find the happy place in our heads each day.
With that thought in mind, I'll share some fun thoughts that our good friend, Monty, sent to me a while back. Enjoy.
The art of real conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but to also leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment
A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect.
Ø Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
Ø I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
Ø Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
Ø The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
Ø Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Ø If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
Ø We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
Ø War does not determine who is right -- only who is left.
Ø Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Ø The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Ø Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
Ø To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
Ø A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. My desk is a work station.
Ø How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
Ø Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
Ø Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.
Ø I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted pay checks.
Ø A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.
Ø Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR."
Ø I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
Ø I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it... So I said "Implants?"
Ø Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Ø Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut and still think they are sexy.
Ø Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America ?
Ø Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
Ø A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Ø You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
Ø The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
Ø Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
Ø A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
Ø Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.
Ø Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
Ø I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.
Ø Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
Ø There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.
Ø I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
Ø I always take life with a grain of salt... plus a slice of lemon... and a shot of tequila.
Ø When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
Ø You're never too old to learn something stupid.
Ø To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
Ø Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
Ø A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
Ø If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?
Ø Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.